One night in May 2015 I was scrolling YouTube, watching old Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus videos. The contrast between their teen years and their then-present made me wonder about how some lives unfold with such precise order. The original post + 2026 reflection below.
Original post (2015, translated):
It’s exactly 01:47 AM. I was wandering on YouTube, showing my friend a Nick Jonas video, then old footage of Miley Cyrus. I was genuinely asking myself: how did these peers of mine end up like this? At what stage did their lives shift into this specific trajectory?
Looking at their recent videos, I noticed something interesting. The people in their lives — friends, collaborators, family — most have stayed close. The team around them is largely the same. That’s not random. That’s intention.
And then it struck me: is this all just coincidence — or is there a deliberate order behind it? The careful planning, the consistent people in their orbit, the cultivated taste, the trained voices, the parents who sacrificed for them as kids — none of that is accident.
Sometimes I worry I’m too obsessed with order myself. I want every step planned, every project on schedule, every relationship intentional. But maybe order isn’t obsession — maybe it’s the difference between people whose lives go somewhere and people whose lives just happen to them.
I want my own “order” too — not as anxiety, but as structure. The chaos can be inside the work; the rails around it should be intentional.
2026 Reflection — Eleven Years of Order vs. Chaos
Eleven years of trying to build that “order” gave me a clearer picture of what 23-year-old me was reaching for:
1. The Pop Star Observation Was Right
Looking at long-term success in any field — music, software, sports — the consistent variable isn’t talent. It’s infrastructure: the team, mentors, environment around the person. Talent without infrastructure plateaus fast.
2. Order Isn’t Rigid Planning
I used to think order meant detailed 10-year plans. Now I think order means:
- Knowing your direction, not your destination.
- Having recurring rituals (weekly review, morning routine, deep work blocks).
- Maintaining the same 5-10 close people over decades.
- Choosing what to say no to as much as what to say yes to.
3. The Coincidence Question Has an Answer
Looking at outcomes 11 years later, I’m now sure: the perceived “order” in others’ lives is rarely coincidence. There’s usually deliberate work behind it. The visible polish is the iceberg’s tip — the 90% below is structure, support, and stubborn consistency.
Practical Takeaway — 3 Anchors Anyone Can Build
- Pick 5 people you want to stay close to for the next 20 years. Maintain those relationships actively.
- Build one repeating ritual (e.g., Sunday evening planning) and protect it.
- Keep a 1-line journal. Looking back 10 years from now will be priceless.
